This is going to be an update, and something that I wanted to say for months, if not years.

In fact, I disappeared from here someday without saying a word, and I felt guilty about doing so. Some of the people I was talking to here were incredibly nice to me, and felt that it wasn't the right way of just leaving without explaining anything. But it wouldn't be as easy for me, as it might seem.

After all this time, one might think, why not let sleeping dogs lie? Wouldn't it be the most elegant and smart way to just keep out of drama's way? As a matter of fact, I already lost friends as a result of speaking my mind, but it is always better if people hate your for who you are, than if they love you for who you aren't.
However, no matter how irrational this decision might be, there is a reason that outweighs all of the above. I usually do not make New Year's resolutions, but this year, the only thing I wish for myself, is sticking by my own values and standards. There are three things that I hate: lies, hypocrisy and cowardice. And before I can judge others, I should do something about it myself for a change.

First of all, I did leave due to time lackage. I couldn't just find enough time to comment on people's stuff and felt guilty, and I also wanted to dedicate my spare time to drawing entirely. I am still very stressed, just not as stressed as I was back at school.
It wasn't the only reason, though. Somebody who was very close to me (at the internet friendship level) said something very hurtful without realising it. Let's say, it were the perfectly wrong words at the perfectly bad timing. I felt rejected and realised, that I couldn't really talk to things that were relevant for me at that time to people who I thought were close to me. And even though I tried to overcome it, I dissociated from everybody at DA.
The other result of this was that I couldn't show here what I wanted to draw, without being afraid to be rejected. I might not be rejected in a rude way, but still, it made me wonder what would be going on in the heads of those I know. In my opinion, it would be hypocrisy to draw something different from what I want, thus, I left.

I didn't say anything back then, because I couldn't find the words, and couldn't explain it either. I still can't do it in a satisfying way. Let's say, I'm just not good at handling such situtations.
But it is certain, that I don't want to run away from anything again.

I apologise again for leaving without a word... I missed many you, but I knew at the same time that it couldn't just go on like this. I hope that nobody holds a grudge against me for leaving like that. And if you want to tell me something, ask me something - go ahead. I will answer it via comment or note.

I don't think I'll use this account any more for uploading stuff, but may log in now and then, just to check stuff.

Having that said, I hope you all had nice holidays and a happy new year. Keep warm and enjoy the rest of the winter. :]